i wont bother tryin to explain anymore..
i give up.

and the ppl whom i usually go to during these kinda times are not there anymore...they're jus too busy with their own lives for them to help in mine.sigh.but it doesn't matter..im not gonna unload anymore woes to them.so this sheet has gotta stop.

heh.back to happier stuff.
hmmm.had a normal school week,went for trainin for sat.it was fun!
ooh met ky before that at jurong east ec for sushi! THANKS! HAHA.played poool.and then went sch! HAHA.long journeys man.

trained drills with ky,chiau ru and chiau ying.i realised im really rusty.my boasts are way out and loose.and my drives are not much better.sigh.its like i lost the passion for my favourite recreational stuff ever since it happened.sorry to disappoint you guys like that.

went home for a nice refreshin shower after that.and headed out again to esplanade to meet up with ray,wanyee,chinhan,angie and jiahui to celebrate wanyee's birthday! -claps-
headed for karaoke at cine after that.blasted our lungs out til 6am.although there was a mighty long period i dozed off peacefully.was extremely tired so i even managed to sleep tru the noise within the room.
thanks for such a great time ppl!

slept for the most part of sunday cos i suffered a hangover once i reached home.woke up,went back to sleep,woke up for dinner,then slept tru til today morning.wow.i felt so refreshed.
and thanks to all the angels out there for their kind and sincere smses.it jus made me wanna hug all of you.in a frenly way of cors. =) i jus wanted to bounce and bounce.and really,thank you.all of you.

i'm usually alone at home nowadays,so i jus pretty much keep to myself an awful lot.i'm saddened by the mere fact that i now have to initiate the conversation just so i can talk to my dad.and sometimes when i do that, i feel like im rudely butting in on their conversation.i didn't want that,so i just kept what i wanted to say to myself.and most recently,i haven't spoken much at all.
and when no one's home,it's the time when i feel the most alone,the most vulnerable.they just head out without tellin me where they're headin to,and what time they're gonna be back.i know it sounds childish and idiotic,but i feel so left out.i feel so left out of the things they say,the things they do.
i feel like i'm driftin slowly away on a wooden board out at sea, in a turbulent storm.the 3 lights that once shone brightly have dimmed,giving out an occasional flicker or two.and i cant help but notice that sooner or later,i'm gonna lose the 3 beacons of hope.

i know there's a lot of things i can voice out to him,but i can't bring myself to.
i can't bring myself to show how upset i am,how truly neglected i feel inside.i know it'll hurt him.and that's the last thing i wanna do,now that he's found his happiness.
i don't wanna flare up,don't wanna show my temper,cos i know it's just disappointment i feel inside.
so,yea.guess i'll just keep it all inside for e time being.i wonder how long it'll last.